Over this last week, I have been having trouble believing in what Amy said at our C.R.H.P. meeting which was at Chela's home. Anyhow, I came out to them asking for help to get together with them to get the money for my citizenship test. I felt like no one cared, but the words of Amy stuck in the back of my mind. She told me by Memorial day I would be a citizen. This was annoy and conflicting with what I believed as fact. At this time we had $500 in our savings account. Which was for citizenship.
Finally I cracked down and cried. After we had to take $300+ out of our saving to put in our chequing account to be able to pay rent. Anyhow I cried every night for days. This was something I never told my partner. Anyhow, my therapist told me to ask the church. I finally prayer last week and wrote a long email to a lot of my church friends, plus father and deacon. Anyhow, I been getting emails back from one lady that kept me believing that God existed and he was there for me. Well two ladies at first, now my whole church family and friends.
Now the church is going to help us pay for citizenship test filing the forms. I know we have to pay the money back. But I feel it's a gift from God. He made me wait till the right time. I don't know how to explain this, but it's true. I said a long prayer of thanking to God, Christ and everyone at church who has put up with my moaning, annoying bad humor and anything I just blab about. Plus Suzie Q always gets me bratting out like no tomorrow. So I thank God for my church and family and friends in Indy and I'm glad to be alive. I'm glad to actually feel happy and not feel guilty about being happy.
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