Resolutions Vs Goals

Every year we make a new year Resolutions. It's like me make rules we want to change about about ourselves and make us a new person. These can be classes as goals we make. Mine are to get closer to God and Jesus. To pray the rosary daily rather that to just pray it when I feel like it. You should not just do it because you feel you have to. You do it because God is there guiding you to do what is needed to be a better Christian.

To be a better Christian shouldn't be a New Year Resolution. It should be something you do daily to keep connected with God, Jesus and Our Blessed Mary. If it wasn't for The Blessed Mary we wouldn't have Jesus or be here today. Through Our Blessed Mary we have Jesus who gave his life so we can be saved. He saved our souls to give us everlasting life. Unconditional love and mercy. We have so much through Our Blessed Mary and Our Savior Jesus Christ. He gave everything to give us life everlasting.

Without Jesus sacrifice we wouldn't have a chance at anything. He gave his life to save ours. We pray to Jesus, God the Father and The Holy Ghost forgiveness of our sins. We go to church, go to confession to a Priest and tell our sins. Then we are forgiven. We all have this due to the sacrifice Jesus gave for all of us. Without Jesus sacrifice we wouldn't have a hope in hell at having a better life.  It was Jesus who gave us that second chance at life.

We got everlasting life. Remember this when you think about your New Year Resolutions or Goals you make for the new year. I know mine are always the same. To get closer to God and Jesus. TO be a disciple of Jesus and God the Father. They gave me life. They gave me a second chance at living this life I could have ruined.

My Goals are as follows

1. Study the Bible daily
2. Pray three times a day
3. Pray after studying the Bible
4. Pray the Rosary daily
5. Live a Christian Life 
6. Use the Gifts God has given me

These are my Goals for the year. I know without God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost I can not do a single thing. With them in my life, in my heart I can do anything. God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost give me the strength, guidance and hope and faith to carry on each day I live.

Without God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost I can no overcome my mental illness, physical and emotional problems without them in my life. I believe, I have faith in the Trinity (God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost) in my life. They keep me going through the rough times and the good times. 

Don't Let Your Heart be Trouble

In John of the gospels tells us not to be troubled. He talked about Trusting in God and Jesus. He came to earth and to give us the Holy Spirit to guide our hearts. It means that God gave us free will. This is what the Holy Spirit does. He shows us what our choices are, just we have to make the choice whether or not we make the right choice. If we make wrong choices, we can ask for forgiveness. If our heart is not a a contrite heart, and filled with grace and faith. It means that God will listen to our prayers, it doesn't mean he will answer our prayers when we want them answered. He'll answer them in his good time.

To every trouble you have troubling your heart, like you have sinned a lot in your young or old life. You need to welcome God into your heart, and let him take your pain, your troubles you hold inside your heart. God gave you your life, only he can take it from you. If you commit suicide or give abortion to an unborn child. You are classed with murder in God's eyes. He gave life to you, only he can take it from you if you wish to go up to heaven.

With God's Guidance or Without God's Guidance

Without God's Guidance
Without having God to guide you in your daily life, is not a good prospect. When I sit on the couch and switch my laptop on ad get writing or watching TV etc, I get no inspiration to write or whatever I plan on doing during the day. I lack guidance and I waste the day away. Also my depression rises to escalating levels and I feel suicidal and I'm at rock bottom. I have a few mental health issues and people who know me I suffer intense pain levels in my legs, knees, lower back, plus my asthma and epilepsy are bad too.

With God's Guidance
I pray for God's guidance and inspiration in my daily life. After prayer, I study God's word, the Bible. After this I have breakfast and then turn on my computer and check emails, and chat to friends while I research about a story I want to write, plus write with guidance from God to let me write my current story. I'm always busy and focused when I have let God into my heart for that day.

Remember: with God in your heart, soul and mind you are not ready for the day ahead. Talk to him, ask him into your heart, mind and soul. Let him guide your every minute each day...

Panic Attacks and God's Guidance

This morning Troy and myself had to travel downtown to get my bus pass renewed. This sounds easy doesn't it. But you are completely wrong. First, when the bus arrived to take us downtown, I was in my wheelchair. I was put on a lift to get in and out the bus. Then traveling through town, the driver went via interstate. On the interstate you end up going over bridges and flyovers. These create panic inside me. I have a phobia of being tossed out of a moving vehicle, plus being flung off a bridge.

On the ride home, I was in a major panic mode. Troy was busying reading his book. I closed my eyes, in hope of Troy letting me know when it was safe to open them again. But he didn't. I then heard a voice. No I not joking. I heard a voice, it wasn't Troy or the bus driver either. I hadn't prayed for guidance or strength either. But the voice told me to relax, breath deeply and observe the trees, cars and trucks we passed. And descibing them to the heavenly voice. I believe God sent his Holy Ghost came to me and help me through the journey home. I got home and got into our apartment and I felt heaps better.

Once I'd eaten something, I prayed to God for many thanks for helping me in my time of need. I believe even when we don't ask for God, Christ and the Holy Ghost to help us through a trying time, they come anyway. To believe in this happening every time, trust me it happens. I know you might think, I've lost my marbles and got completely bananas. But I'm not crazy, I just believe...

C.R.H.P. Meeting

Tonight I had a C.R.H.P. Meeting and it was at Suzie Q's. I have worked on what I wanted to do during the meeting and it went rather well. I felt the spirit leading me to say and think the way's of Christ and God. Being led by the spirit and realizing that we all have a part we fill I this time we have on earth.  My job is to be evangelistic, which means to spread the word of God to those who don't have his loving touch i their lives.  The evening was an abundance of God's love, his unconditional love, along with his guidance and strength.

I believe this picture says it all, God gave his only son to come to earth so that we may have everlasting life. To believe in God is the first thing we need to do. Then we have to pray daily and study his word, the bible.
I suggest you prayer for God to enter into your heart, soul and mind. it is said if you allow God to enter you whole mid, body and soul. He will lead you into the realms of God and you'll one day be with Christ ad God in Heaven. Also know if you ask God and Christ to be your savior, you'll be giving a choice to make. This choice is to follow God and live Christ like and want to spread the word of God. This is by showing others that you have God i your heart. Telling everyone that God saved you from your sins, plus now you have God in your soul, you have to study God's word daily, which is the Holy Bible.

Thursday Evening

Tonight has been a rather stressful evening so far. I got angry at computer, phone and my partner. My anger started at low and raised into millions in seconds. I grabbed my bible and turned to Sirach and started to read, then my partner joined me and we studied and read from the bible. This was the best thing I'd done with my partner in months. Reading scripture was very enlightening and good for spiritual growth.

The main point of this post, is that what makes you compelled to write. For the first thing is I believe God gave me the talent for writing. I love writing because it lets me talk about what is in my heart to talk about. I don't write to gain financial promise. I write for the enjoyable feeling I get once I finished a project. I believe in writing if it is in your heart to write. If not, than I suggest you just read books , rather than writing...

Thursday Afternoon

It's now 3:05pm and right now I've been thinking about what is going on inside my mind, body and heart. Being different from most of the people at my church is hard. I'm transgendered, but with no wish of changing my body. What is given to me, makes me stronger and wiser with God at my side. Also I've got pluckera of mental illnesses. I have DID/MPD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Mood disorders, and anxiety.

Sometimes I find it hard to get through a day without hurting myself. Hurting myself does help to a certain degree, but not fully the way I'd like. Learning right now that doing this to take my thoughts off self-harm to do productive things instead. Right now I read my bible when I get the urge to hurt myself, either by cutting or burning. I know if I pray God will give me strength, but I'm not sure I want strength.

My best friend from Mass, he is what I call a cheer me up friend. If he's online I feel 100% better. Also I'm reading through my binder, my DBT Binder. This binder has a lot of skills that help me deal with certain emotions and feelings running through my head. My partner is my strongest person I can say I love, and they love me. Being at church, in a bookstore or just outside of the apartment I cheer up a little and know God is guiding my thougth outside. but inside I feel like the devil is trying to hurt me, with voices and images I see throughout the apartment.

Two Little Boys - Rolf Harris

Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse
Gaily they played each summer's day
Warriors both of course

One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his horse's head
Wept for his toy then cried with joy
As his young playmate said

Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Jack and don't be crying
I can go just as fast with two

When we grow up we'll both be soldiers
And our horses will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we were two little boys

Long years had passed, war came so fast
Bravely they marched away
Cannon roared loud, and in the mad crowd
Wounded and dying lay

Up goes a shout, a horse dashes out
Out from the ranks so blue
Gallops away to where Joe lay
Then came a voice he knew

Did you think I would leave you dying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon be flying
I can go just as fast with two

Did you say Joe I'm all a-tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Do you think I would leave you dying
There's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon by flying
Back to the ranks so blue

Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Holy Thursday

Since being a catholic convert, I have never been to any Holy Thursday masses. Today was the first, and I was in terrible intense pain. The pain was like a 15(1-10 (10)being the worst) I was having bad pain, plus pain spikes every minute. I didn't think the pain could get any worse. It did when I told Troy I wasn't going to be able to go up for the Eucharist. Then I heard this voice, I looked around but the chapel was silent. I then heard the voice again. I looked at Troy, thinking he was talking with me, but no he wasn't. Then the voice said the same words yet again."Go up, this is part of your inner healing and outer healing."

I watched Father George and Deacon Kerry getting ready for the Eucharist. I got  Troy to pass me my walking sticks and I stood up, and the pain was so bad I thought I was going to die. I slowly walked to get communion. After I took the Eucharist and wine, I felt so much heat running through my body, I thought I was on fire. I walked and sat down and closed my eyes and just let my heart feel God and the Holiness of the mass. Not sure what to say or do, I just told myself, God is present and he is entering me. Just then, I heard the voice. Saying "You are going to heal. Both inner and outer the body. You are my child. I am your Savior. Believe in me, and talk with me daily. I will start to heal you." Then the voice went and then service was over. Mass was done.

I walked out to see if Suzie was going to be there to run us home. Helen was going to be back-up in case Suzie wasn't there. While standing by Troy, the pain level went from 15 down to a 8. I was at ease and I felt God inside me. It was so amazing. I have a greater feeling inside, my faith is growing daily. My strength is getting better and I'm feeling I can deal with anything, I mean pain wise, I have God and I know he works in me. I feel alive in his blood and body. I now know God is alive and in me via the Holy Ghost. Sorry Americans, it's the Holy Ghost in England and Ireland, so be it. If you don't like it, tough luck. {big grin and giggles}