Mormonism - Truth vs False

A long time ago when I lived in England. I was born a Catholic. I just never trusted the religion due to my parents being very abusive and some of the clergy too. My step-father would get the clergy to help abuse my in more ways than one. This as far as I'll go right now. I may post about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my family in the England/Europe when growing up as a child and adult even. It's a very long bitter childhood. I felt alone and very bitter to all my family. I grew up with nine brothers I was the only female. This was a very troubled time for me.

The time when I learned that Faith mattered was when I was four years old and my Nana Lily, my biological father's mother. The only family member who loved me and treated me with love, along with my only brother who treated me the same way. Taught me to read the Holy Bible. Nana Lily believe in God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. She taught me all about the stories in the bible. How the came to be written. WHo wrote the bible and why the bible was written. I found it uplighting.

If I knew then what I know now I would've never turned my back on the Catholic faith. I tried many different faiths in my lifetime. I first tried Jewish faith. I found them very restrictive on what the women could do. This did make me feel like I was less of a human being. I then tried Jehovah Witnesses. I liked what I learned about the faith. I did stop taking blood transfusions, it made it hard for some things like surgeries I had. Especially when I had my brain tumor. Having cancer in the brain was hard. My own family even told me I should die. I mean what mother wants her child to die to claim on a life insurance? WHo would do that to their own flesh and blood?

Then I tried the Chruch of England. It just wasn't me. Then Methodist. That was somewhat boring. It put me to sleep. I still read my bible while I pursued my dream of finding the right religion for me. I then at the ripe age of twenty-nine, I found a Mormon missionary in the town centre. The two missionaries talked with me in the town about the Book of Mormon, I was intrigued. I wanted to know more. They made an arrangement to come to my flat(apartment) to talk more about the Book of Mormon and their religion. I wanted to find out if this religion was for me.

They finally came to my place. They came regularly and we talked for hours. I read I studied the Book of Mormon. I then got the quad book. It contained Book of Mormon, D&C, Pearl of Great Price, Holy Bible. I would carry it everywhere I went. Read it, study it. I found the religion I wanted to be part of. The only thing was their church service was very long one. It was also split into separate rooms and sections. There was one for Sunday School, also one for adult women(Relief Society), main service. I was three hours lone in total. It was worth it.

Mormonism

Rule of the Faith

• No sex before marriage and complete fidelity after marriage.  Mormons believe the family is essential to God’s plan, so we don’t do anything that could jeopardize that.  The 10 commandments in the Bible says, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

• No alcohol or drugs.  Why?  We don’t want the effects of alcohol or drugs to influence us to make poor decisions.

• No dishonesty. Mormons believe it is important to keep Christ’s commandment in the Bible, to be honest with other people.  We aren’t perfect at it, but we strive to do our best.  The 10 commandments say not to “…bear false witness.”

• Donate 10% or more of your income to charity and the building up of the kingdom of God.  We believe that God is the Creator of the world.  We obey the law of the tithe to show our trust in God.  Because of the church’s almost complete lay ministry, the tithes are only spent for good instead of lining the pockets of a professional pastor.

• Do not view pornography.  We believe it’s incredibly belittling to women to treat them as objects, and pornography tempts the viewer to commit sin.  The 10 commandments say “thou shalt not covet.”

• Do not engage in same-sex relationships.  We are taught that marriage is ordained between a man and a woman.  We have great love and respect for ALL people–including gays and lesbians.  They are welcome to come to church and participate in the church, and we love them just as we would anyone else.  

• However, we do believe the Bible’s teachings that romantic relationships are ordained by God to be between man and woman.

• Dedicate Sundays to the Lord.  The 10 commandments from the Bible includes the commandment “Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.”  We attend church on Sundays where we study the words of Christ and worship God.

• No foul language.  We keep our language clean and respectful.  As it says in the 10 commandments, “Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.”

• No cigarettes, coffee, tea, coffee or tobacco.  We believe life is a gift from God and we do our best to keep our bodies healthy and clean.  

• Teenagers shouldn’t date until 16 years-old.  We believe that teens should be careful to develop wholesome relationships in high school and should wait to develop serious boyfriend/girlfriend type relationships until they are of age to start courting and marrying.  This helps them to prevent the temptation of sexual sin.

• No abortion.  Members of the church strongly oppose abortion and do not participate in abortion in any way.  The 10 commandments say, “Thou shalt not kill.”  Church leaders have opened the possibility for abortion in extreme instances of danger to the mother’s life, incest, and rape.

• Gambling.  Mormons don’t bet money on games of chance or play the lottery.

I later was kicked out after like fours years in the faith. I was told I either stop drinking Pepsi and coffee or be removed from the church. I told them I just couldn't do that. I stopped the coffee. It wasn't a problem. The Pepsi was the problem. It was just a soda drink. nothing deadly in that. What was so wrong with a soda? It couldn't hurt me or anyone I was with. I was told I couldn't even talk with the friends I'd made in the church after I was removed from the church. This was so annoying. I was all alone again. I had nobody to talk with, nobody to turn to either. I was lost.

I later found someone coming to my door. they were from a church, a Baptist church. I was turning thirty-two at the time. I went to the church. It was a newly built church and the pastor was a nice friendly man. He approached me and we talked a while. He arranged for me to do a course called the alpha course. It was to teach about Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. They were so kind, friendly and upbeat. I did the Alpha course and then got baptized in the church. I went almost every week. I stopped reading the Book of Mormon, I did keep the scriptures though.

Then when I was struggling to cope I found out my best friend died. I told my friend Allie. She put me in touch with a person In America. Their name will be nameless. They are now my partner. We have been together for nearly thirteen years. It'll be thirteen this October, thirteen on November 10th this year married. I think becoming a Catholic was the right choice. I have a stronger faith than I have ever had. I pray, study the bible daily.

Convert to be a Catholic

One should never leave the religion in which one was born or raised for anything but the most serious of reasons. Warm feelings, family, friends, a social ethos, should never be the reason for joining or leaving a religion. The fact that you do not like the priest, pastor or parishioners should never be a reason for staying or leaving. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have never been a person to "go with the flow" or seek popularity.

Though I grew up in a "Catholic" household my family was not the typical Catholic family. My mother was a member who was non-active. My step-father was not a member until late in life. Neither my brothers. I went onto religion to religion, just wanted to find answers to life's questions in my mind. Just wanted to find answers to why things happened to me and my brother due to our mother's rage and neglect.

Our mother was not a kind and friendly person in the home. Outside she make everyone think she was loving, caring and a good Catholic. on the inside she was not that sort. Me and my brother escaped her wrath. We fled England, our home to live in Southern Ireland for a few years. We then traveled through Europe, living in many different countries. We lived in Holland, Russia, Spain, Italy, Turkey, Western Australia Belgium and Germany over a many years.

Now I live in Indiana, America. My brother was sent to prison, where he shortly killed himself. I still miss him to this day. I did become a Catholic officially here. I've found that God works in marvelous ways. God has made me a messenger to spread his word to others. We are all called to be God's Messenger if we accept that duty we will be fully blessed. I know when I write my stories I know God is guiding my words as I tell a story. He is letting me spread the word of his wisdom and guidance to the young adults and children in this forgotten world.

REMEMBER: God is in you. You just have to accept him and his Holy Spirit in your life. Letting the Holy Ghost guide you in all ways.

Revelation of God

I haven't been going to church for a matter of weeks. I found myself losing faith in God. I stopped going and my life went down the drain so to speak. It was like everyone was against me. It was like nobody wanted me around them. I found the girls from my C.R.H.P. team at St Mark's Catholic Church. I got the feeling that I wasn't welcome there for a matter of weeks. It felt like they knew I wasn't ready or studying the bible or the catechism of the catholic church. It was like God wasn't watching me like I hoped he was

I got the feeling he wasn't with me. The Holy Spirit wasn't with me I thought for such a long time. I finally went to church and the next few days I found that medicaid and my doctors office had finalized my new wheelchair. It came today. I felt that maybe going back to church made God present in my life once again. I read a few passages from my bible. It was like I felt totally different. I felt God's Holy Spirit was in me once again.

With the wheelchair being a great one. I said a short prayer of thanks to God and his angels. After this prayer I got a vision.

Vision: I fell to the floor, on my knees, which caused me immense pain. I saw two angels before me. I was whisked away into a place where I was taken. It was brilliant white light. Like I was in the presence of God's angels. I saw my Nana Lily. She was smiling like a Cheshire cat. She said "Trust God and his Holy Spirit. They will never leave you. They will always be with you child. Trust in God and his angels. They will guide you in all ways. God Loves you unconditional. Never forget that." She soon was gone and I was back on the carpet in my living room. 

I knew to trust God and never forget God is there for me and whoever believes in him. God is a loving parent to us, his children. I knew and still believe God is in my life because I want him. He is also watching what I do in life.

Imperfection

Imperfection

I believe watching this video on YouTube. It made me think about think about my imperfection. I know I sin a lot of the time. We all as Christians sin daily. We need to profess our faith to God and the Lord Jesus. We need to understand that we are Christians that have sinned and keep sinning daily. We know what to do to correct our imperfections. We just have to confess our sins to him who will forgive and give us his unconditional love and understanding. He knows we are imperfect and sin. He will forgive us. He is a forgiving God.

Jesus Christ gave us the sacraments to follow Jesus footsteps to go up to be with you in heaven. Heavenly Father gave us his only son so we will have everlasting life. It is why we are born imperfect due to the original sin by Adam and Eve. We need to go to confession regularly. I know I don't go as regular as should. I need to go to confession more often. Also we need to confess our sins to the Lord Jesus Christ and Our Heavenly Father. They are the ones we must confess our sins to. We can pray for guidance, strength and many other reasons. We need help and strength to not sin. We need guidance from the Holy Spirit and Jesus so we can go to heaven when it is our time to leave our love ones and join those who have died before us in our families.

Remember: We are born imperfect. We need to ask for forgiveness from our Heavenly Father and Jesus. We can pray to the Holy Spirit and Our Mother Mary too. They will send our prayers to Jesus and Our Heavenly Father.

Mother Angelica - Inperfection as an Oppotunity

Don't Let Your Heart be Trouble

In John of the gospels tells us not to be troubled. He talked about Trusting in God and Jesus. He came to earth and to give us the Holy Spirit to guide our hearts. It means that God gave us free will. This is what the Holy Spirit does. He shows us what our choices are, just we have to make the choice whether or not we make the right choice. If we make wrong choices, we can ask for forgiveness. If our heart is not a a contrite heart, and filled with grace and faith. It means that God will listen to our prayers, it doesn't mean he will answer our prayers when we want them answered. He'll answer them in his good time.

To every trouble you have troubling your heart, like you have sinned a lot in your young or old life. You need to welcome God into your heart, and let him take your pain, your troubles you hold inside your heart. God gave you your life, only he can take it from you. If you commit suicide or give abortion to an unborn child. You are classed with murder in God's eyes. He gave life to you, only he can take it from you if you wish to go up to heaven.

Daily Scripture - 12th February

1 Corinthians 10:31 - 11:1

Brothers and sisters,
Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do,
do everything for the glory of God.
Avoid giving offense, whether to the Jews or Greeks or 
the church of God,
just as I try to please everyone in every way,
not seeking my own benefit but that of the many,
that they may be saved.
Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

God Speaks to your Soul

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

  

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying tat we are born to eternal life… Amen


This prayer spoke to me when I found it in a box of books while unpacking in the bedroom. We'd recently moved into a new apartment July 1st. it made me stand back and think about God and his role in our lives. I know that I try to pray daily and study his word. The thing is sometime we forget or get too busy. We as a christian nation need to stop and spend just five minutes with him. He can strengthen and guide us wherever we're meant to be going. 


I read this and now I want to make more of an effort to keep God in the foremost part of our mind, body and soul. I'm a catholic and I love going to mass on Sunday's and partake of the Eucharist, listen to the homily. Even when we have visiting priest and other people talking to us as a christian nation. God knows how we feel. He knows what we go through. Remember he created us. While he created us, he also can number each hair strand on our body, whether on our head or a different place. He can number each one. This is something we have to remember. By His grace we are born and alive. 


Just think about how we are built. You wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for God. He sent his only begotten son to give us eternal life. Due to the sin with the first parents on earth. This is Adam and Eve. We are human, we make mistakes and that is why God set Christ to earth so we will be forgiven and get eternal life forever. Think about it. Without Christ's life, death and resurrection. We have eternal life.  What a wonderful gift he gave for us all who believe in Him.


Remember: If you believe in the Son(Christ) you are also believing in God the father also, plus the Holy Ghost...

Daily Scripture - Tuesday 29th March

Matthew 24:29-31
"Immediately after the tribulation of those days, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from the sky, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. And then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming upon the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And he will send out his angels with a trumpet blast, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.

Matthew 24:36-44
"But of that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone. For as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. In (those) days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day that Noah entered the ark. They did not know until the flood came and carried them all away. So will it be (also) at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be out in the field; one will be taken, and one will be left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken, and one will be left. Therefore, stay awake! For you do not know on which day your Lord will come. Be sure of this: if the master of the house had known the hour of night when the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and not let his house be broken into. So too, you also must be prepared, for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come.

Both these scriptures talk about the second coming of the Son of Man. They talk about a few signs of the second coming. If you believe in God and have accepted Jesus as your God and Savior, then you need to read your Bible and know he is going to come and it will be when we least expect Him to come. Pray diligently and always study the Holy Bible. For the Holy Bible is our manual that will guide us to loving and believing in his mighty power and unconditional love.

Daily Scripture Revelation 21:4

And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."

I have come to understand each day as it comes. I believe God is telling us one day there will be no sickness, no pain, no broken hearts. We will commune one with Christ and God. This scripture tells me I will be free. No more pain, which means to me no more wheelchair, I'll be healthy and happy.  Plus the ones I've lost will be reunited with me in the new heaven, the new earth. Which is happiness to my ears..

Daily Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:3

 Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus is accursed"; and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit. 

This spoke to me when I read this a couple of times. For me this means the Holy Spirit gives us talents and we are guided the the spirit to use these talents to help bring people and children of all ages back to him. My talent is writing and leading children and teens back to him in the words I write in my poetry and my stories. 

Hearing God's Word

Today I have been toying with tell anyone about church today. Like my previous post was about Angels, God's messenger. It you trust in a higher power, There is only one, God. The God of Adam and Eve, God of Isaac, Abraham, and Jacob. The list goes on. I believe in God, God the Almighty, the creator of heaven and earth. I'm not a theologists or any professor. I'm just Jools, Bratz to close friends. I'm a normal person, with some differences.

During the homily this morning, I closed my eyes and spoke to God within the silence of my contrite heart. To be contrite means to be sorry for your sins and offer up to God or your guardian angels. Use your guardian angel to offer up prayer and troubles you have to God. God sent his angels to be our guardians and guide us, just like the Holy Ghost guides us. But you must be faithful and prayer daily to keep in good standing with God and his angels and messengers. 

Anyhow lets get back to the subject.  During the homily I heard another voice, a heavenly voice. I close my mind to the homily, and listened to the voice. "You are being a new journey, a journey unto me. You'll listen to scripture, homilies at my church. Plus, you'll be guided by your two guardian angels. They will guide your heart, your mind and your soul. Listen to them. You'll be renewed in my unconditional love. My love is never ending. You are mine, I know your name." then the voice ended. I could now hear the homily and the Words of Father Plaster. I understand God is using me, but how I'm not sure of. I love and trust in his wisdom and guardian angels along with the Holy Ghost to guide me back to live with him in heaven.

Guardian Angels and Prayer

This morning I slept in, my partner had to wake me up around 8:50am this morning. It was bitterly cold outside, even with a jacket on. I got to church just as mass was starting. Suzie Q was running behind, no shock there. She is one of my best friends. Anyhow back on track. Placing myself next to my partner I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer of my heart. I believe the service was to touch my heart and release the walls  I usually keep up in my head. I never let anyone into my head and I never respect or trust anyone but my life partner and their family. I've not even trusted my close friends with what I have been through in my entire life.

During the homily I felt touched by the talk of guardian angels and how angels do the work of God and guide us to fulfill what our vocations. I believe my vocation is to write stories christian stories to bring young adults into the fold of God. We are here if not for the youth then who. Trust in the Lord and in him we will see mighty things.

I know it's hard at times, but I believe the homily was to speak to me and let me know he has my corner. Knowing that God is in my corner make me feel that I can get through everything. Remember with God and Jesus in your corner, you will do fine. I know with them in my corner, I can conquer any trouble I come up against. In your find something hard to finished or do, open your heart, and say a simple prayer up to God and his angels and they will guide your paths.

Sunday Warning {Writing}

After mass on Sunday morning, I felt compelled to think what I write and what I should be writing. Being a catholic, and christian is what I am. But I'm also different. I'm not normal in any way. God created me to be different. I gone through a lot of  painful experiences and with them, I suffered emotional, verbal and physical abuse from friends and mainly from my biological family in England.

After Communion I closed my eyes, and said a silent prayer in the pits of my heart, which was near breaking point. I knew I wouldnt get an answer right away, I knew it would take time for God to hear the suffereing of my heart and soul. Right now it's Monday afternoon 4:47pm, my partner is due home at 6pm. I got an answer from my prayer this afternoon. Not sure what to say about it, all I heard was "Write fabout your childhood, the abuse and neglect neets to come out. If you don't you'll never receive full healing. Trust your heart, mind. I will guide you." I'm not sure if I'm going crazy or what, but I think my life is changing yet again. Soon it'll be advent season and mass will touch my heart yet once again like it did during Lent.

Living Hope - 1 Peter 1:3

1 Peter 1:3 - Let us give thanks to the God oand father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Because of his great mercy he gave us a new life by raising Jesus Christ from death. This fills us with a living hope,

The scripture above is a powerful one. To me this gives me hope when I'm in the darkest of my depression or just feeling like there is no way out, I read this and know God the Father, God the son, God the Holy Ghost is with me, holding me up as I try to walk down the right path. I feel guided, loved, and cared for by God. He touches our hearts, soul and body. Letting us all know he is there, we just have to ask for him to come into our lives and lead us.

I got this scripture out of a book I've started reading today, it's called: Walking With The God Who CARES! and yes hge does care for us, he knows us even before we were conceived. He can count the hairs on our head, the many different atoms that takes tpo create us, each one is numbered by GOD. 

Believe, Trust and in God we have a new living HOPE!

Saturday Road Trip

I was woken up this morning by Pacer around 6:15am. I got up, feeling rather tired and I know the cats wanted feeding. I was getting so dizzy, I fell, hitting my head on the cupboard. Not being able to feed the cats, I sat on the couch and tried to stop myself from getting dizzy. The dizzy spells are now constant. I hate the feeling the dizzy spells do to me, I want to be healthy and happy.

It's now 6:55pm, I'm watching Bones on TV and finding it very relaxing to watch, even though the episode is a very old one. Anyhow, At the farm and walking around the place, I felt a connection with God and Christ. When the guy was touching my head, I felt a inner glow. It was like God was guiding to be there, to be able to talk with Lourdes near the end. While Suzie Q was getting the car, I had a good talk with Lourdes and I felt her anguish and her pain. I have placed her family on my heart. God knows our pain, our inner turmoil. He is there for us all. I believe I'm here in Indiana for a reason.

Praying for my partner's family and my sisters and their families, this is something that will never stop. I pray daily to God and the Holy Ghost for my sisters and helping me gain strength and guidance to help my sisters and friends at church.

Blessings from God

Over this last week, I have been having trouble believing in what Amy said at our C.R.H.P. meeting which was at Chela's home. Anyhow, I came out to them asking for help to get together with them to get the money for my citizenship test. I felt like no one cared, but the words of Amy stuck in the back of my mind. She told me by Memorial day I would be a citizen. This was annoy and conflicting with what I believed as fact. At this time we had $500 in our savings account. Which was for citizenship.

Finally I cracked down and cried. After we had to take $300+ out of our saving to put in our chequing account to be able to pay rent. Anyhow I cried every night for days. This was something I never told my partner. Anyhow, my therapist told me to ask the church. I finally prayer last week and wrote a long email to a lot of my church friends, plus father and deacon. Anyhow, I been getting emails back from one lady that kept me believing that God existed and he was there for me. Well two ladies at first, now my whole church family and friends.

Now the church is going to help us pay for citizenship test filing the forms. I know we have to pay the money back. But I feel it's a gift from God. He made me wait till the right time. I don't know how to explain this, but it's true. I said a long prayer of thanking to God, Christ and everyone at church who has put up with my moaning, annoying bad humor and anything I just blab about. Plus Suzie Q always gets me bratting out like no tomorrow. So I thank God for my church and family and friends in Indy and I'm glad to be alive. I'm glad to actually feel happy and not feel guilty about being happy.

God's Will

It's now 4:12pm and I'm listening to some music videos on youtube.com. Listening to some songs by Martina McBride. The songs had nice music, but the words spoke to me. It was like something I can't explain. Listening to the words, while watching the music video of that song, it was like I had it great. The world is full of people who had things worse than me.

At times, I look at my church friends, and their lives they live. I look at my partner and the things I put them through since we got married on 10 November 2005. A lot of things have happen in the last five years. I came to America to find happiness. At first I didn't want happiness, I needed to find someone who was going to abuse me like my family, for e.g. my stepfather, my grandparents, Taryn, my mother and Janet. They had hurt me in so many ways. At first sight, my partner was a look alike of my grandfather at his age. I could explain it, but I kinda wanted my partner to be exactly like my grandfather.

From day one, I got angry, throwing punches, and cursing and pushing their buttons to get them to raise a hand against me in anger. But till this very day, I have fail. Which now I'm glad. First I wanted to be hurt as I was so used to the hurt and pain. I even had an old fashioned school master's cane.

Anyhow, this song touch me, spoke to my heart and soul. We have to realize that what happens in our lives happens because of God's Will not ours. He created us, and he shows us his love, even if you go through hell and back. It is because he wants to make you strong to follow him and become a better person.

Jesus Fact or Fiction (DVD Title)

The title of this post, tells everything you need to know first. I believe God Jesus and the Holy Ghost are truth and were indeed fact. The DVD - Jesus Fact or Fiction - Inspiration Films in San Clemente CA, USA. I suggest you get this DVD and pray about the DVD films and information on this DVD disc. It truly enlightened my belief and faith.

The title of this DVD, shows that people have unanswered questions about the truth of Jesus existence. If you are a true christian and have a belief in God and Christ you will already know Christ was the son of God and he came to earth to be the sacrifice so we one day can return to heaven and be with God and Christ and have his unconditional love and the guidance of his wisdom.

The fiction part of the title, well I just thought this was stupid and ridiculous. Think about it for a moment, think hard and concentrate. Ask yourself a few questions...

How did you get on earth? What is your purpose in life? How did it become that you got the right to choose from doing good to disobeying your parents, family and teachers either in school, church and in your workplace? What is your purpose while on earth? Do you believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost as fact? Why are were we created to be born, live and then die?

The point of those questions is that God gave us the right to choose between right and wrong. If it was left up to Satan, Lucifer, Devil and the Beast. He would have not given us the right to choose. God knew when he created us, we needed to learn from our mistakes. When Adam and Eve were tempted by the snake(Satan) God would ban us from being able to connect with him like he was there beside us. Think for a  moment, contemplate what it would have been like to never be sad, feel pain, get sick or even die. God wanted that for us since he created Adam, then Eve.

What a marvelous thing. Just try to imagine what it would be like to not feel pain, never be sick, always be healthy and free. This is something what God had created us for. When Adam sinned and then we were born with that first sin. For myself, I'm always in constant pain, with my legs, back and in my head. Each day I wake up, I know pain. I mean real intense pain. I have to always be home and not go out. When I do want to go out, I have to go in a wheelchair most of the time because I can't walk. My lets walk, yes, but with each step I'm sending constant intense pain throughout my body, which means I have to sit and not walk far. My church friends talk to church via car or SUV. I would love to be pain free, but that isn't possible.

Think for a moment and think what it would be like to be in a beautiful garden, were all the flowers and trees and every living animal communing together.  Lion will lie with bear and either will attack you. It will be like they're your pet, your best friend. You could eat and never go hungry, drink and never thirst. To have your entire family, friends all together and never having to say goodbye or watch them die in pain. This will be what Heaven is like. What a wonderful feeling that would be. Yes I believe this is what heaven is like and it's a wonderful feeling to be able to go there one day and be with God and Christ.

Holy Thursday

Since being a catholic convert, I have never been to any Holy Thursday masses. Today was the first, and I was in terrible intense pain. The pain was like a 15(1-10 (10)being the worst) I was having bad pain, plus pain spikes every minute. I didn't think the pain could get any worse. It did when I told Troy I wasn't going to be able to go up for the Eucharist. Then I heard this voice, I looked around but the chapel was silent. I then heard the voice again. I looked at Troy, thinking he was talking with me, but no he wasn't. Then the voice said the same words yet again."Go up, this is part of your inner healing and outer healing."

I watched Father George and Deacon Kerry getting ready for the Eucharist. I got  Troy to pass me my walking sticks and I stood up, and the pain was so bad I thought I was going to die. I slowly walked to get communion. After I took the Eucharist and wine, I felt so much heat running through my body, I thought I was on fire. I walked and sat down and closed my eyes and just let my heart feel God and the Holiness of the mass. Not sure what to say or do, I just told myself, God is present and he is entering me. Just then, I heard the voice. Saying "You are going to heal. Both inner and outer the body. You are my child. I am your Savior. Believe in me, and talk with me daily. I will start to heal you." Then the voice went and then service was over. Mass was done.

I walked out to see if Suzie was going to be there to run us home. Helen was going to be back-up in case Suzie wasn't there. While standing by Troy, the pain level went from 15 down to a 8. I was at ease and I felt God inside me. It was so amazing. I have a greater feeling inside, my faith is growing daily. My strength is getting better and I'm feeling I can deal with anything, I mean pain wise, I have God and I know he works in me. I feel alive in his blood and body. I now know God is alive and in me via the Holy Ghost. Sorry Americans, it's the Holy Ghost in England and Ireland, so be it. If you don't like it, tough luck. {big grin and giggles}

Tuesday Morning

Today has been a rather stressful morning so far. Yesterday was a complete nightmare. It's my anniversary to the first time I met my Troi. It's been a few months since he took his life and it made my life more difficult to manage, but I have survived. Yes, most people who know my, call me a survivor. why you might ask, well I'll explain below, just give a minute. Okay, give me a few minutes, I know Yes I know. God is in my head again and talking to me. I sure wish someone else could hear his ranting about what I should do for the day. Believe I hate it, but love it too...

My church friends and friend here in Indy know I am a survivor. I survived the many years of abused from the hands of my family and partners I had in England. I also survived cancer twice. Yes I know, I must me lucky. Yeah, the fact is God has told me he has a assignment for me to do, so I guess he'll never leave me alone till I've done my mission or job for him. But it has made me get a further understanding of God and my catholic beliefs.

Being a convert to the catholic faith, was a journey of discovery and delight at the same time. I can still remember the questions I'd ask Mary or Dave about what I believed and what the catholic faith people believed. Anyhow, I want to thank them for their help in understanding the sacraments and other things that make up the catholic faith. Now sure, but ever since Lent started I have been filled with the Holy Ghost and I feel it guiding me to the right path and how to become closer to God and Jesus.

If you ever feel alone, scared and lost, ask God for guidance, love and understanding. You'll receive that trust me. I have ten fold. Today, when I went back to the St Blog Parish, which is a site, where many catholic people or groups link to other blogs and sites about the catholic faith and you know.. yadda yadda.

Anyhow, I have been reading some the blogs on there and they touch me, I can't explain it, but when you feel touched by an angel, you'll know. I believe in God, Jesus and yes, I know and Angels. I believe I have a guardian angel and I believe everyone has one. It's just up to the individual to listen to there angel speak to them.