God's Will

It's now 4:12pm and I'm listening to some music videos on youtube.com. Listening to some songs by Martina McBride. The songs had nice music, but the words spoke to me. It was like something I can't explain. Listening to the words, while watching the music video of that song, it was like I had it great. The world is full of people who had things worse than me.

At times, I look at my church friends, and their lives they live. I look at my partner and the things I put them through since we got married on 10 November 2005. A lot of things have happen in the last five years. I came to America to find happiness. At first I didn't want happiness, I needed to find someone who was going to abuse me like my family, for e.g. my stepfather, my grandparents, Taryn, my mother and Janet. They had hurt me in so many ways. At first sight, my partner was a look alike of my grandfather at his age. I could explain it, but I kinda wanted my partner to be exactly like my grandfather.

From day one, I got angry, throwing punches, and cursing and pushing their buttons to get them to raise a hand against me in anger. But till this very day, I have fail. Which now I'm glad. First I wanted to be hurt as I was so used to the hurt and pain. I even had an old fashioned school master's cane.

Anyhow, this song touch me, spoke to my heart and soul. We have to realize that what happens in our lives happens because of God's Will not ours. He created us, and he shows us his love, even if you go through hell and back. It is because he wants to make you strong to follow him and become a better person.