Hope - Having a Little Hope

Since my experience on Sunday at church I'd been doing a lot of soul searching. Wasn't sure whether o r not to talk to anyone about what happened or not. All I know For the past three months I've been praying for my C.R.H.P. sisters an my best friend in church Mary-Lynn. They all mean the world to me and they are the closest friends I have in Indiana. Mary-Lynn  and Amy's mom has cancer and going through a lot right now. They need prayers. Plus Amy's daughter is also going through a lot. Plus Helen friend has been dealing with the same form of cancer as my partner's mother type of cancer. I wish there was a way to rid cancer of any form from this world. I know I can't. The only one who can cure cancer is God.

On Sunday an Angel came to me in a visitation after Eucharist. I was whisked away onto a pure white cloud. We waked for what seemed forever. The ground went from white as snow to green and luscious filled with lovely grass and blooming flowers of all different colors. There was an abundance of bloom. we walked down a concrete path. I saw children swinging on swings, playing on jungle gyms. It was beautiful. The Angel told me to have hope. God has plans for you all.

He told me that Amy's daughter will regain her faith in time. In God's time we will have to wait for that time to come. It might be a short wait, or a long wait. Just keep praying and asking for guidance and strength to keep us all strong and never give up.

Monday Evening

Had a major experience yesterday at church, then at my bible study group. I'm a devote catholic and study the bible each day which does help with my writing. I believe God gave me a wonderful gift. I am a writer, with the thanks of the Holy Spirit. The girls I study the bible with are like having sisters around me all the time. I love them dearly and they inspire me to become the best I can be, along with my family here in Indiana.

Yesterday at church, during MASS, I had an experience I don't understand. God sends his angels' to me. It's like this last year during LENT, now this year. I believe this is something from God to tell me to be the best I can be. I love writing and I have written one novel so far. Not published or anything. Now I feel that God wants me to continue writing and finish my second or third book.

Right now I'm writing two novels, which can be hard, but I'm finding it rather simple right now. First my second novel is about a young boy who loses his only loving guardian, his grandmother. His living aunt and uncle don't want him and he is put into the foster care system. A loving family foster him and teach him things he didn't believe were possible. He finally has a second chance at a loving home.

My third is about a young adult, aged sixteen who parents are fighting, and they decide to get a divorce and  the main character is trying to cope with his mom gone, his dad finding a new partner and getting remarried. His father's new wife has two very young children and the main character is also fighting an inner battle about being catholic and gay. 

Hearing God's Word

Today I have been toying with tell anyone about church today. Like my previous post was about Angels, God's messenger. It you trust in a higher power, There is only one, God. The God of Adam and Eve, God of Isaac, Abraham, and Jacob. The list goes on. I believe in God, God the Almighty, the creator of heaven and earth. I'm not a theologists or any professor. I'm just Jools, Bratz to close friends. I'm a normal person, with some differences.

During the homily this morning, I closed my eyes and spoke to God within the silence of my contrite heart. To be contrite means to be sorry for your sins and offer up to God or your guardian angels. Use your guardian angel to offer up prayer and troubles you have to God. God sent his angels to be our guardians and guide us, just like the Holy Ghost guides us. But you must be faithful and prayer daily to keep in good standing with God and his angels and messengers. 

Anyhow lets get back to the subject.  During the homily I heard another voice, a heavenly voice. I close my mind to the homily, and listened to the voice. "You are being a new journey, a journey unto me. You'll listen to scripture, homilies at my church. Plus, you'll be guided by your two guardian angels. They will guide your heart, your mind and your soul. Listen to them. You'll be renewed in my unconditional love. My love is never ending. You are mine, I know your name." then the voice ended. I could now hear the homily and the Words of Father Plaster. I understand God is using me, but how I'm not sure of. I love and trust in his wisdom and guardian angels along with the Holy Ghost to guide me back to live with him in heaven.

Guardian Angels and Prayer

This morning I slept in, my partner had to wake me up around 8:50am this morning. It was bitterly cold outside, even with a jacket on. I got to church just as mass was starting. Suzie Q was running behind, no shock there. She is one of my best friends. Anyhow back on track. Placing myself next to my partner I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer of my heart. I believe the service was to touch my heart and release the walls  I usually keep up in my head. I never let anyone into my head and I never respect or trust anyone but my life partner and their family. I've not even trusted my close friends with what I have been through in my entire life.

During the homily I felt touched by the talk of guardian angels and how angels do the work of God and guide us to fulfill what our vocations. I believe my vocation is to write stories christian stories to bring young adults into the fold of God. We are here if not for the youth then who. Trust in the Lord and in him we will see mighty things.

I know it's hard at times, but I believe the homily was to speak to me and let me know he has my corner. Knowing that God is in my corner make me feel that I can get through everything. Remember with God and Jesus in your corner, you will do fine. I know with them in my corner, I can conquer any trouble I come up against. In your find something hard to finished or do, open your heart, and say a simple prayer up to God and his angels and they will guide your paths.

Guidance and Angelic Guardianship

I've be depressed and feeling rock bottom today, much over the last week. Today I said a small prayer to God and his heavenly angels. I wanted guidance, advice and how to get myself through the rough patches. This afternoon I found Daniel C 33-42. It talked about how God Angel took Habakkuk who'd cooked a meal of stew and bread. To take food for Daniel who was in the lions pit. After the angel took Habakkuk to Daniel and fed him the food, the angel returned Habakkuk to his home.

Then the king visited Daniel in the pit. He assumed Daniel would be dead. But instead found Daniel much alive and sitting in the midst of the lions. He released Daniel, singing praise to Our God, the God of Daniel...

THis shows us all, we we have faith, and stick to God's guidebook, the BIBLE. we too can be enriched and enlighted by God's spoken word through his prophets and their inspired writing in our best book ever, the bible.

UK Old Time Rhyme

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Guard the bed that I lie on
Four corners to my bed
Four angels round my head,
One to watch and one to pray
And two to bear my soul away

The rhyme above is one I grew up as a child. It used to help me know God was there and he sent his angels to watch over us. To this day, I say this rhyme nightly as it helps me sleep.

Tuesday Morning

Today has been a rather stressful morning so far. Yesterday was a complete nightmare. It's my anniversary to the first time I met my Troi. It's been a few months since he took his life and it made my life more difficult to manage, but I have survived. Yes, most people who know my, call me a survivor. why you might ask, well I'll explain below, just give a minute. Okay, give me a few minutes, I know Yes I know. God is in my head again and talking to me. I sure wish someone else could hear his ranting about what I should do for the day. Believe I hate it, but love it too...

My church friends and friend here in Indy know I am a survivor. I survived the many years of abused from the hands of my family and partners I had in England. I also survived cancer twice. Yes I know, I must me lucky. Yeah, the fact is God has told me he has a assignment for me to do, so I guess he'll never leave me alone till I've done my mission or job for him. But it has made me get a further understanding of God and my catholic beliefs.

Being a convert to the catholic faith, was a journey of discovery and delight at the same time. I can still remember the questions I'd ask Mary or Dave about what I believed and what the catholic faith people believed. Anyhow, I want to thank them for their help in understanding the sacraments and other things that make up the catholic faith. Now sure, but ever since Lent started I have been filled with the Holy Ghost and I feel it guiding me to the right path and how to become closer to God and Jesus.

If you ever feel alone, scared and lost, ask God for guidance, love and understanding. You'll receive that trust me. I have ten fold. Today, when I went back to the St Blog Parish, which is a site, where many catholic people or groups link to other blogs and sites about the catholic faith and you know.. yadda yadda.

Anyhow, I have been reading some the blogs on there and they touch me, I can't explain it, but when you feel touched by an angel, you'll know. I believe in God, Jesus and yes, I know and Angels. I believe I have a guardian angel and I believe everyone has one. It's just up to the individual to listen to there angel speak to them.

Movie: Angels and Demons

I have spent the last couple of hours, watching the movie based on the book by Dan Brown. I had heard about the Illuminati and have done a lot of research on this sect and what they did and how they dealt with the world. I found the movie somewhat interesting, but I have to say it doesn't put the catholic faith in a good light. I became a catholic a few years ago. I found that my husband and his family were devote Catholics, so I wanted to learn more about the faith. I was catholic by birth, but I denounced the religion many years ago due to my biological family behavior and how they used the catholic faith to abuse me and my brothers.

I went through life not believing in anything. Yes my life was not pretty and it wasn't nice either. The abused started with my grandparents, from the age of two. They abused me physically, emotionally and sexually from my grandfather. These were the people my mother entrusted me with for my care. I believe she knew about the abuse, but did nothing to help Ian and Michael my brothers and myself. At the age of five I was taken back by my mother and she had a boyfriend, who later became my stepfather. He continued the abuse under the watchful eye of my mother. I started to hate religion due to them both saying I was filled with demons and I was Satan's daughter.

Anyhow, back on subject. I then believed maybe my family weren't good Catholics. I got to know my husband and about his faith and along side the kindness and love his family showered me with. I couldn't believe this was right. I learned about being catholic. I was stunned at the friends I made and now still have.

The movie let me understand that the catholic faith was filled with good people and bad, I hated the way they depicted the catholic faith in the film. I know from my own belief that God and Christ not only helps believers, but non-believers too. God is merciful, kind and very loving and forgiving to anyone who asks for his forgiveness.

The film tried to depicted that Catholic priests would lie to get the message across. I know this as I live it daily. I know from fact and from the believers side of things. That God is not in control of our bodies or minds. He lets us make our own mistakes and lets us learn from them. I know this, from a life filled with hate and evil thoughts about hurting my family and wanting them dead for what they put me through all my life.

After becoming a catholic, I learned that God gives us all the right to choose. The only thing he does is guide up and leads us on the right path, but only if we choose to pick that way. I haven't been picking the right road for a long time. I've done things I regret and I did learn that God only helps guide you, you have to make the effort to follow him and to let him into your heart, soul and mind. Just just for one day, but your whole lifetime.

If you want to let God into your heart, just pray. Pray with your whole heart, mind and soul. Ask with a sorrowful heart. Let him know you're sorry for your sins and your past life activities and you want him in your life. He will send the Holy Spirit and it will enter your body and guide your thoughts and guide your heart. If you want to have a good life, a wholesome life. Let God into your heart, soul and mind. Do it without doubt with a contrite spirit and he will guide your paths. Yes I believe God has shown me the light and I intend on showing everyone I come in contact with to ask God into their lives and follow him. If you don't have God or Christ to guide you, you will be under attack from the Devil(Satan). If  you want eternal life and to go to heaven, let God help guide you there!