Lenten Season

Last night meeting at Lourdes house was very enlighting and really good. I know I had two glasses of her Irish Cream booze, but I felt that I got some things out there to the girls which helped me a lot. Yes I am thankful for having God and Jesus and being Catholic. There are a few things I hope the girls will help me with, that's getting the word out that about this blog and about my journey to be a better person and how you can learn from others and get a closer connection with God.

At first I wasn't going to convert to being a catholic, due to my upbring and my biological family and their abuse to me for many years. Now that I have been in Indy for nearly five years I have found during that time that friends who aren't Catholic or Christians have gone by the way side. Now I am making new friends online and friend in my church I am finding these sort of friends are willing to help you and stand by your side whether or not they agree with your way or how you get your message across about what you wanna say or do.

Last night I actually felt part of the team for a while since my first C.R.H.P. retreat. Yes I was railroaded into going, but it helped me understand that I needed God in my life and that without him I wasn't being to be able to be guided or healed via therapy or any other way from the abuse. Yes I can be a major brat and mainly sassy towards my sisters, but they are all good people and if you ever need help, they are there for you 100%. Which for the first time in my life is good.

I do want to get a closer connection to God during this Lenten season. I am trying my best to read my bible once a day and saying a prayer once a day too. My sisters are good and wholesome girls. They mean the world to me, even if I hate praying out aloud most of the time. I felt God nudging me last night to pray, which had never happened to me in a long time. I felt God was there for me, and while praying I heard his voice. Yes I actually heard his voice talk to me. I don't care what people say. I heard him and if anyone says I'm crazy or need locking up or something along those lines so be it. they can go rot for all I care.

Heard his voice, it was scary and very frightening at first. But then I just let him talk while I prayed. He guided my words and I felt so loved. I was so thrilled to be there and have him guiding my words and helping me with my writing and prayers as I feel confused and lost about what I want to pray about. But I know if I ask him to with my whole heart, my whole soul, my whole being and mind he will guide my words in prayer, in my writing abilities and in life in general.

I do know this if anyone reading this blog, if you want to learn more about God, Jesus or the Holy Ghost you need to pray and ask for strength, guidance and his presence to come into your heart and your every being so he can work wonders with you. Let him guide you, let him show you. But most of all let him tell you and be ready to listen to his words. Just remember he is there for you, even if your biological or not biological family and friends tell you otherwise. DON'T listen to them, listen to God and his word and let that hard heart soften and come to love God and his love for you.

If people are telling you not to listen, forget them listen to him, he is all you need to feel whole and complete. Without God, Jesus or the Holy Ghost, you will be lost, alone and forgotten. Let him guide you, show you his massive heart and his long arms to hold you close. If you need to be carried for a while on your journey, he will hold you and guide your steps till you are ready to be able to stand on your own feet. REMEMBER he will always be right beside you, even if you don't pray or listen to him. He is there, all you have to do is reach out and take a hold on hi loving, guiding arms of love and friendship he has for all his children.

NOTE: You don't have to be Catholic to have God or Jesus in your daily life. It helps, but just being a Christian and following God is all you need. Use his words, the Bible, his Manual to our lives today. It may seem outdated, but it isn't. It's God word so we can one day return to him and be forever in his loving, guiding arms of love and friendship.