Over this last week, I have been having trouble believing in what Amy said at our C.R.H.P. meeting which was at Chela's home. Anyhow, I came out to them asking for help to get together with them to get the money for my citizenship test. I felt like no one cared, but the words of Amy stuck in the back of my mind. She told me by Memorial day I would be a citizen. This was annoy and conflicting with what I believed as fact. At this time we had $500 in our savings account. Which was for citizenship.
Finally I cracked down and cried. After we had to take $300+ out of our saving to put in our chequing account to be able to pay rent. Anyhow I cried every night for days. This was something I never told my partner. Anyhow, my therapist told me to ask the church. I finally prayer last week and wrote a long email to a lot of my church friends, plus father and deacon. Anyhow, I been getting emails back from one lady that kept me believing that God existed and he was there for me. Well two ladies at first, now my whole church family and friends.
Now the church is going to help us pay for citizenship test filing the forms. I know we have to pay the money back. But I feel it's a gift from God. He made me wait till the right time. I don't know how to explain this, but it's true. I said a long prayer of thanking to God, Christ and everyone at church who has put up with my moaning, annoying bad humor and anything I just blab about. Plus Suzie Q always gets me bratting out like no tomorrow. So I thank God for my church and family and friends in Indy and I'm glad to be alive. I'm glad to actually feel happy and not feel guilty about being happy.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
God's Will
It's now 4:12pm and I'm listening to some music videos on youtube.com. Listening to some songs by Martina McBride. The songs had nice music, but the words spoke to me. It was like something I can't explain. Listening to the words, while watching the music video of that song, it was like I had it great. The world is full of people who had things worse than me.
At times, I look at my church friends, and their lives they live. I look at my partner and the things I put them through since we got married on 10 November 2005. A lot of things have happen in the last five years. I came to America to find happiness. At first I didn't want happiness, I needed to find someone who was going to abuse me like my family, for e.g. my stepfather, my grandparents, Taryn, my mother and Janet. They had hurt me in so many ways. At first sight, my partner was a look alike of my grandfather at his age. I could explain it, but I kinda wanted my partner to be exactly like my grandfather.
From day one, I got angry, throwing punches, and cursing and pushing their buttons to get them to raise a hand against me in anger. But till this very day, I have fail. Which now I'm glad. First I wanted to be hurt as I was so used to the hurt and pain. I even had an old fashioned school master's cane.
Anyhow, this song touch me, spoke to my heart and soul. We have to realize that what happens in our lives happens because of God's Will not ours. He created us, and he shows us his love, even if you go through hell and back. It is because he wants to make you strong to follow him and become a better person.
At times, I look at my church friends, and their lives they live. I look at my partner and the things I put them through since we got married on 10 November 2005. A lot of things have happen in the last five years. I came to America to find happiness. At first I didn't want happiness, I needed to find someone who was going to abuse me like my family, for e.g. my stepfather, my grandparents, Taryn, my mother and Janet. They had hurt me in so many ways. At first sight, my partner was a look alike of my grandfather at his age. I could explain it, but I kinda wanted my partner to be exactly like my grandfather.
From day one, I got angry, throwing punches, and cursing and pushing their buttons to get them to raise a hand against me in anger. But till this very day, I have fail. Which now I'm glad. First I wanted to be hurt as I was so used to the hurt and pain. I even had an old fashioned school master's cane.
Anyhow, this song touch me, spoke to my heart and soul. We have to realize that what happens in our lives happens because of God's Will not ours. He created us, and he shows us his love, even if you go through hell and back. It is because he wants to make you strong to follow him and become a better person.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Jesus Fact or Fiction (DVD Title)
The title of this post, tells everything you need to know first. I believe God Jesus and the Holy Ghost are truth and were indeed fact. The DVD - Jesus Fact or Fiction - Inspiration Films in San Clemente CA, USA. I suggest you get this DVD and pray about the DVD films and information on this DVD disc. It truly enlightened my belief and faith.
The title of this DVD, shows that people have unanswered questions about the truth of Jesus existence. If you are a true christian and have a belief in God and Christ you will already know Christ was the son of God and he came to earth to be the sacrifice so we one day can return to heaven and be with God and Christ and have his unconditional love and the guidance of his wisdom.
The fiction part of the title, well I just thought this was stupid and ridiculous. Think about it for a moment, think hard and concentrate. Ask yourself a few questions...
How did you get on earth? What is your purpose in life? How did it become that you got the right to choose from doing good to disobeying your parents, family and teachers either in school, church and in your workplace? What is your purpose while on earth? Do you believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost as fact? Why are were we created to be born, live and then die?
The point of those questions is that God gave us the right to choose between right and wrong. If it was left up to Satan, Lucifer, Devil and the Beast. He would have not given us the right to choose. God knew when he created us, we needed to learn from our mistakes. When Adam and Eve were tempted by the snake(Satan) God would ban us from being able to connect with him like he was there beside us. Think for a moment, contemplate what it would have been like to never be sad, feel pain, get sick or even die. God wanted that for us since he created Adam, then Eve.
What a marvelous thing. Just try to imagine what it would be like to not feel pain, never be sick, always be healthy and free. This is something what God had created us for. When Adam sinned and then we were born with that first sin. For myself, I'm always in constant pain, with my legs, back and in my head. Each day I wake up, I know pain. I mean real intense pain. I have to always be home and not go out. When I do want to go out, I have to go in a wheelchair most of the time because I can't walk. My lets walk, yes, but with each step I'm sending constant intense pain throughout my body, which means I have to sit and not walk far. My church friends talk to church via car or SUV. I would love to be pain free, but that isn't possible.
Think for a moment and think what it would be like to be in a beautiful garden, were all the flowers and trees and every living animal communing together. Lion will lie with bear and either will attack you. It will be like they're your pet, your best friend. You could eat and never go hungry, drink and never thirst. To have your entire family, friends all together and never having to say goodbye or watch them die in pain. This will be what Heaven is like. What a wonderful feeling that would be. Yes I believe this is what heaven is like and it's a wonderful feeling to be able to go there one day and be with God and Christ.
The title of this DVD, shows that people have unanswered questions about the truth of Jesus existence. If you are a true christian and have a belief in God and Christ you will already know Christ was the son of God and he came to earth to be the sacrifice so we one day can return to heaven and be with God and Christ and have his unconditional love and the guidance of his wisdom.
The fiction part of the title, well I just thought this was stupid and ridiculous. Think about it for a moment, think hard and concentrate. Ask yourself a few questions...
How did you get on earth? What is your purpose in life? How did it become that you got the right to choose from doing good to disobeying your parents, family and teachers either in school, church and in your workplace? What is your purpose while on earth? Do you believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost as fact? Why are were we created to be born, live and then die?
The point of those questions is that God gave us the right to choose between right and wrong. If it was left up to Satan, Lucifer, Devil and the Beast. He would have not given us the right to choose. God knew when he created us, we needed to learn from our mistakes. When Adam and Eve were tempted by the snake(Satan) God would ban us from being able to connect with him like he was there beside us. Think for a moment, contemplate what it would have been like to never be sad, feel pain, get sick or even die. God wanted that for us since he created Adam, then Eve.
What a marvelous thing. Just try to imagine what it would be like to not feel pain, never be sick, always be healthy and free. This is something what God had created us for. When Adam sinned and then we were born with that first sin. For myself, I'm always in constant pain, with my legs, back and in my head. Each day I wake up, I know pain. I mean real intense pain. I have to always be home and not go out. When I do want to go out, I have to go in a wheelchair most of the time because I can't walk. My lets walk, yes, but with each step I'm sending constant intense pain throughout my body, which means I have to sit and not walk far. My church friends talk to church via car or SUV. I would love to be pain free, but that isn't possible.
Think for a moment and think what it would be like to be in a beautiful garden, were all the flowers and trees and every living animal communing together. Lion will lie with bear and either will attack you. It will be like they're your pet, your best friend. You could eat and never go hungry, drink and never thirst. To have your entire family, friends all together and never having to say goodbye or watch them die in pain. This will be what Heaven is like. What a wonderful feeling that would be. Yes I believe this is what heaven is like and it's a wonderful feeling to be able to go there one day and be with God and Christ.
Realization of Gender Dysphoria
Today I woke up, I totally identified as male. Then My church friend turned up and I knew if I went to church, everyone would identify me as the gender of this body, female. I am having a hard time dealing with the issues of the body being the wrong gender. It is like I have no way to be me. Each time I look into a mirror, touch my chest, go to the bathroom; it all says I'm female. Then I just burst into fits of anger, and then the tears coming flowing down my cheeks. It's torture.
Talked to my partner and roommate. Sharing a house with Mel, is delightful. She has such a gentle and sweet nature. She sees me as male and not what the body looks like. Which is nice. Then it comes out. They are never going to change and it makes me realize maybe I'll never get the chance to change and have the outside look and match the inside. Each day is like having to look at a image in a mirror and having it always lying to you. You feel and act like a man/boy buut you look like a female/girl. This is quite common these days.
In this day and age, transgendered children/adults are more comment than they were when I was a child. Now in these times, 2010 children are getting to chance to change there gender once being diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. When I was a child, I knew by the age of nine, I was different. I knew I was born into the wrong body so to speak.
What is meant to happen in the womb, is a child is conceived and started to grow. During the growth process in the womb, a baby is given male and female hormones. But then there is a break up and in transgendered children they get given more of the opposite hormones and that means the genitals start growing, but in the mind, heart and soul of the growing child is also given the right hormones and growth processes and they child feels male or female in all ways, but the gender is totally the opposite once born. If this talks about how you feel, seek help from a therapist or councellor.
Back in the early 1970's when I was born, it was not common and it was rare for this to happen. The thing back then if you changed your gender and had children. The children were taken from you and put into the foster care system. This is what happen to me, well sort of. My father was a MtF(male to female) and had surgery and hormones to become a woman. My father left me at the age of four and I never saw him till I was sixteen.
Now I faced this during my life. I was born female, but identify as male. It's like a nightmare, but you have to watch people say things to you eg. {Hello Miss, Can and I help you Ma'am} in places like stores and libraries and other common places. Since the age of eighteen, I haven't owned a skirt, dress or underwear of females. I dress in male clothes, I have my hair short and bind my chest. Hating what I see in the mirror, but knowing due to my physical health issues, I can't get onto T(Testosterone) or have SRS(Sex Reassignment Surgery).
I'm now 41, living in America and away from my biological family. My partner's family, to know I'm married to. They are devoted Catholics and go to church weekly for mass. I converted to be a Catholic to see if that would rid me of these feelings of being trapped into a body that I can't deal with having. But I became to get closer connection with God, and made some good friends at out local church. The only thing wrong, is I'm male through and through. Wanting to come out and tell the world I'm not who they think I am. I'm Jools not Lisa. But I have to realize that is something I can't change. I've been told I can go back to England and get onto hormones and have surgery done. But I would have to give up my friends I have in America.
Today I knew I had to be alone, as my partner had to work. Feeling alone and frightened, lost and without hope. This is always how I feel when I'm with people or not. I want my girls from church to know I'm a man, I want them to know what life is like inside and outside for me. When will this time come.. I just don't know.
Talked to my partner and roommate. Sharing a house with Mel, is delightful. She has such a gentle and sweet nature. She sees me as male and not what the body looks like. Which is nice. Then it comes out. They are never going to change and it makes me realize maybe I'll never get the chance to change and have the outside look and match the inside. Each day is like having to look at a image in a mirror and having it always lying to you. You feel and act like a man/boy buut you look like a female/girl. This is quite common these days.
In this day and age, transgendered children/adults are more comment than they were when I was a child. Now in these times, 2010 children are getting to chance to change there gender once being diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. When I was a child, I knew by the age of nine, I was different. I knew I was born into the wrong body so to speak.
What is meant to happen in the womb, is a child is conceived and started to grow. During the growth process in the womb, a baby is given male and female hormones. But then there is a break up and in transgendered children they get given more of the opposite hormones and that means the genitals start growing, but in the mind, heart and soul of the growing child is also given the right hormones and growth processes and they child feels male or female in all ways, but the gender is totally the opposite once born. If this talks about how you feel, seek help from a therapist or councellor.
Back in the early 1970's when I was born, it was not common and it was rare for this to happen. The thing back then if you changed your gender and had children. The children were taken from you and put into the foster care system. This is what happen to me, well sort of. My father was a MtF(male to female) and had surgery and hormones to become a woman. My father left me at the age of four and I never saw him till I was sixteen.
Now I faced this during my life. I was born female, but identify as male. It's like a nightmare, but you have to watch people say things to you eg. {Hello Miss, Can and I help you Ma'am} in places like stores and libraries and other common places. Since the age of eighteen, I haven't owned a skirt, dress or underwear of females. I dress in male clothes, I have my hair short and bind my chest. Hating what I see in the mirror, but knowing due to my physical health issues, I can't get onto T(Testosterone) or have SRS(Sex Reassignment Surgery).
I'm now 41, living in America and away from my biological family. My partner's family, to know I'm married to. They are devoted Catholics and go to church weekly for mass. I converted to be a Catholic to see if that would rid me of these feelings of being trapped into a body that I can't deal with having. But I became to get closer connection with God, and made some good friends at out local church. The only thing wrong, is I'm male through and through. Wanting to come out and tell the world I'm not who they think I am. I'm Jools not Lisa. But I have to realize that is something I can't change. I've been told I can go back to England and get onto hormones and have surgery done. But I would have to give up my friends I have in America.
Today I knew I had to be alone, as my partner had to work. Feeling alone and frightened, lost and without hope. This is always how I feel when I'm with people or not. I want my girls from church to know I'm a man, I want them to know what life is like inside and outside for me. When will this time come.. I just don't know.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Tuesday Night - Up and Down
Today was a rather cruddy day till I went out tonight with Troy. The plan was to go to Walgreen's to get me some chocolate in hope it might cheer me up and be able to use to get rid of this migraine I've had for the last few days. I go out, with Troy and then come home. While I'm out my migraine seems to be gone. But once I'm home and inside, the damn thing comes back with advengence. I hate to admit it, but I think maybe my month, this April 2010, is going to be a horrid one.
Migraines, intense pain and pain spikes throughout my body. I want a day without any pain or migraine. Is this Possible? I doubt it, but who knows...
Migraines, intense pain and pain spikes throughout my body. I want a day without any pain or migraine. Is this Possible? I doubt it, but who knows...
Friday, April 02, 2010
Good Friday - Easter - Sacrifice
I woke up this morning by my cat Emily jumping on me to feed her and our other cat Pacer. After feeding both cats, I felt something inside of me talking. It was a strange feeling inside, something I can't explain. Sitting on the couch, waiting on Troy getting up so we can get dressed and leave for my appointment with Pat at Adult and Child at 10am.
It's now 3:58pm and we've just been home for about ten to twenty minutes. Being out all day and without a drink or book to read while sitting on a bus, being in my wheelchair. Being in my chair most of the day, makes my butt hurt and it was causing my lower back to be in chronic pain. My pain levels were around a 11-12 working on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the worst). Now I'm trying to relax after a stressful day out and with annoying bus drivers and ignorance from drivers.
Anyhow, as today is Good Friday, which makes me think of the sacrifice Jesus did for us all. He gave his life up and raised again 3 days later. This was done so we all can get forgiveness of our sins and be able to to return to heaven and live with God and commune with him in everlasting happiness. This gives me a sense of relief and makes me proud to be a catholic and be able to choose my religion. I know that in some countries on earth aren't allowed to choose and worship their religion.
I have researched a lot about some countries on this planet, earth. There are some places believing and worshipping God and stating you're a Christian out aloud is a crime. Why are all these countries not allowing people like us worship God and also shout at the top of our lungs that God has saved our souls. I want to let the world know, living in the following countries we are able to worship God and be proud and shout out at the top of our lungs, that God saved our souls and his Holy Ghost is guiding us and showing us what a great thing God did for us. Letting his only begotten son come as man and die for our sins, so we one day can go up to heaven and be with God again.
Living In: England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, America, Brazil, Russia, Spain, Holland, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, Canada, Belgium, France...
The above you're free to worship God and be proud to be Christian. I hope in time everyone around the world we can unite and be proud to be Christian. Right now I believe being Catholic is the right religion for everyone know that Jehovah witnesses, Mormons and other cult religions will know that God told us not to change anything in the bible. Jehovah Witnesses say Jesus died on a stake, with his hands crossed above his head with one nail through both hands. This makes me think that Jehovah Witnesses are misguided. It states in the bible that Jesus was on a cross not on a pole (stake) like the Jehovah witnesses state.
Then the Mormons, they are very misguided I believe. In the last books in the New Testament say to add no books of scripture to the bible. The Mormons have the Pearl of Great Price, Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenence. I know about both these religions, is because when I was in England and going through a tormenting time in my life. I joined the Mormons, and studied with the missionaries and went oto church. I did this for a long time, about 2 years. I found that something was wrong. I started to smoke and was diagnosed with Asthma and Epilepsy. I started to take medications and drinking Pepsi to take the pills. I was excommunicated for doing this. They told me I could remain in the church if I gave up drinking anything with caffiene in. I refused and left the church.
I moved to Margate, on the south east coastline on Kent a country in England. I meet some Jehovah Witnesses. I started to have bible study and learn a lot about the faith. I thought it was my place. Then he told me that I couldn't have a blood transfusion. I was shocked beyond belief. I stopped my bible study and tried to find another faith to follow. I tried learning from the Church of England religion, which wasn't for me either. I moved on and tried Methodist, Jewish faith and even Baptists. But all weren't the right religion for me. I need to find something that accepted me and felt good to be in that faith.
Nothing matched what I wanted. I was going to think of the only religion I hadn't thought of joining and being catholic. My family were catholic, so I knew they were bad. I then came to America. Met my husband and now I am a catholic and very devoted to my faith and friends. I am blessed with a new family, my husband's family. Friends more than I ever had in England and Ireland. It was like I was in heaven.
Now I have a faith as strong as solid rock. I have many friends, these friends, just didn't like me for what I could give them, but just friends because we liked each other. When I'm down, my friends are there to lift me up. When they are down, I help perk them up and pray for them if they or I are sick and low in spirit. I am in heaven. The only thing is, when I get to Heaven with God, I will have my hearts desire.
Warning: This post is my person experiences, not to offend any one for their beliefs and faith. I just wanted to state some things. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone... I love God and making new friends. Please don't take offence. Lisa Xavier.
It's now 3:58pm and we've just been home for about ten to twenty minutes. Being out all day and without a drink or book to read while sitting on a bus, being in my wheelchair. Being in my chair most of the day, makes my butt hurt and it was causing my lower back to be in chronic pain. My pain levels were around a 11-12 working on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the worst). Now I'm trying to relax after a stressful day out and with annoying bus drivers and ignorance from drivers.
Anyhow, as today is Good Friday, which makes me think of the sacrifice Jesus did for us all. He gave his life up and raised again 3 days later. This was done so we all can get forgiveness of our sins and be able to to return to heaven and live with God and commune with him in everlasting happiness. This gives me a sense of relief and makes me proud to be a catholic and be able to choose my religion. I know that in some countries on earth aren't allowed to choose and worship their religion.
I have researched a lot about some countries on this planet, earth. There are some places believing and worshipping God and stating you're a Christian out aloud is a crime. Why are all these countries not allowing people like us worship God and also shout at the top of our lungs that God has saved our souls. I want to let the world know, living in the following countries we are able to worship God and be proud and shout out at the top of our lungs, that God saved our souls and his Holy Ghost is guiding us and showing us what a great thing God did for us. Letting his only begotten son come as man and die for our sins, so we one day can go up to heaven and be with God again.
Living In: England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, America, Brazil, Russia, Spain, Holland, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, Canada, Belgium, France...
The above you're free to worship God and be proud to be Christian. I hope in time everyone around the world we can unite and be proud to be Christian. Right now I believe being Catholic is the right religion for everyone know that Jehovah witnesses, Mormons and other cult religions will know that God told us not to change anything in the bible. Jehovah Witnesses say Jesus died on a stake, with his hands crossed above his head with one nail through both hands. This makes me think that Jehovah Witnesses are misguided. It states in the bible that Jesus was on a cross not on a pole (stake) like the Jehovah witnesses state.
Then the Mormons, they are very misguided I believe. In the last books in the New Testament say to add no books of scripture to the bible. The Mormons have the Pearl of Great Price, Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenence. I know about both these religions, is because when I was in England and going through a tormenting time in my life. I joined the Mormons, and studied with the missionaries and went oto church. I did this for a long time, about 2 years. I found that something was wrong. I started to smoke and was diagnosed with Asthma and Epilepsy. I started to take medications and drinking Pepsi to take the pills. I was excommunicated for doing this. They told me I could remain in the church if I gave up drinking anything with caffiene in. I refused and left the church.
I moved to Margate, on the south east coastline on Kent a country in England. I meet some Jehovah Witnesses. I started to have bible study and learn a lot about the faith. I thought it was my place. Then he told me that I couldn't have a blood transfusion. I was shocked beyond belief. I stopped my bible study and tried to find another faith to follow. I tried learning from the Church of England religion, which wasn't for me either. I moved on and tried Methodist, Jewish faith and even Baptists. But all weren't the right religion for me. I need to find something that accepted me and felt good to be in that faith.
Nothing matched what I wanted. I was going to think of the only religion I hadn't thought of joining and being catholic. My family were catholic, so I knew they were bad. I then came to America. Met my husband and now I am a catholic and very devoted to my faith and friends. I am blessed with a new family, my husband's family. Friends more than I ever had in England and Ireland. It was like I was in heaven.
Now I have a faith as strong as solid rock. I have many friends, these friends, just didn't like me for what I could give them, but just friends because we liked each other. When I'm down, my friends are there to lift me up. When they are down, I help perk them up and pray for them if they or I are sick and low in spirit. I am in heaven. The only thing is, when I get to Heaven with God, I will have my hearts desire.
Warning: This post is my person experiences, not to offend any one for their beliefs and faith. I just wanted to state some things. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone... I love God and making new friends. Please don't take offence. Lisa Xavier.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Holy Thursday
Since being a catholic convert, I have never been to any Holy Thursday masses. Today was the first, and I was in terrible intense pain. The pain was like a 15(1-10 (10)being the worst) I was having bad pain, plus pain spikes every minute. I didn't think the pain could get any worse. It did when I told Troy I wasn't going to be able to go up for the Eucharist. Then I heard this voice, I looked around but the chapel was silent. I then heard the voice again. I looked at Troy, thinking he was talking with me, but no he wasn't. Then the voice said the same words yet again."Go up, this is part of your inner healing and outer healing."
I watched Father George and Deacon Kerry getting ready for the Eucharist. I got Troy to pass me my walking sticks and I stood up, and the pain was so bad I thought I was going to die. I slowly walked to get communion. After I took the Eucharist and wine, I felt so much heat running through my body, I thought I was on fire. I walked and sat down and closed my eyes and just let my heart feel God and the Holiness of the mass. Not sure what to say or do, I just told myself, God is present and he is entering me. Just then, I heard the voice. Saying "You are going to heal. Both inner and outer the body. You are my child. I am your Savior. Believe in me, and talk with me daily. I will start to heal you." Then the voice went and then service was over. Mass was done.
I walked out to see if Suzie was going to be there to run us home. Helen was going to be back-up in case Suzie wasn't there. While standing by Troy, the pain level went from 15 down to a 8. I was at ease and I felt God inside me. It was so amazing. I have a greater feeling inside, my faith is growing daily. My strength is getting better and I'm feeling I can deal with anything, I mean pain wise, I have God and I know he works in me. I feel alive in his blood and body. I now know God is alive and in me via the Holy Ghost. Sorry Americans, it's the Holy Ghost in England and Ireland, so be it. If you don't like it, tough luck. {big grin and giggles}
I watched Father George and Deacon Kerry getting ready for the Eucharist. I got Troy to pass me my walking sticks and I stood up, and the pain was so bad I thought I was going to die. I slowly walked to get communion. After I took the Eucharist and wine, I felt so much heat running through my body, I thought I was on fire. I walked and sat down and closed my eyes and just let my heart feel God and the Holiness of the mass. Not sure what to say or do, I just told myself, God is present and he is entering me. Just then, I heard the voice. Saying "You are going to heal. Both inner and outer the body. You are my child. I am your Savior. Believe in me, and talk with me daily. I will start to heal you." Then the voice went and then service was over. Mass was done.
I walked out to see if Suzie was going to be there to run us home. Helen was going to be back-up in case Suzie wasn't there. While standing by Troy, the pain level went from 15 down to a 8. I was at ease and I felt God inside me. It was so amazing. I have a greater feeling inside, my faith is growing daily. My strength is getting better and I'm feeling I can deal with anything, I mean pain wise, I have God and I know he works in me. I feel alive in his blood and body. I now know God is alive and in me via the Holy Ghost. Sorry Americans, it's the Holy Ghost in England and Ireland, so be it. If you don't like it, tough luck. {big grin and giggles}
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