Root of All Evil - Episode 1 (1/5)

Living Hope - 1 Peter 1:3

1 Peter 1:3 - Let us give thanks to the God oand father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Because of his great mercy he gave us a new life by raising Jesus Christ from death. This fills us with a living hope,

The scripture above is a powerful one. To me this gives me hope when I'm in the darkest of my depression or just feeling like there is no way out, I read this and know God the Father, God the son, God the Holy Ghost is with me, holding me up as I try to walk down the right path. I feel guided, loved, and cared for by God. He touches our hearts, soul and body. Letting us all know he is there, we just have to ask for him to come into our lives and lead us.

I got this scripture out of a book I've started reading today, it's called: Walking With The God Who CARES! and yes hge does care for us, he knows us even before we were conceived. He can count the hairs on our head, the many different atoms that takes tpo create us, each one is numbered by GOD. 

Believe, Trust and in God we have a new living HOPE!

Self Injury Behavior

Cutting and Self-Injury

The number of young people who participate in acts of self-mutilation is growing. Although self-harm is rarely a suicidal act, it must be taken seriously because accidental deaths do occur. It’s difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel but breaking the cycle of self-abuse is possible if you reach out to someone you trust. Finding new ways of coping with your feelings can help to tone down the intense urges you feel which results in you hurting yourself. Recovery is a continuous process and learning how to stop this addictive behavior is within your reach if you work at it.

Who Engages in Self--Injury?

The numbers are staggering…about two million people in the U.S. are self-injurers and approximately 1% of the population has inflicted physical injury upon themselves at some time in their life as a way to cope with an overwhelming situation or feeling. Those numbers are most likely an underestimation because the majority of acts of self-injury go unreported. In other parts of the world the numbers are considerably higher. Self-injury does not discriminate against race, culture, or socio-economic strata, but there is conflicting data regarding demographics. Some reference sites indicate that the majority of people who engage in this type of addictive behavior are predominately female teenagers and young adults, while other sites indicate that both genders, ranging in age from 14 to 60 self-injure. However, there is consistent agreement that self-harm has more to do with having poor coping mechanisms than anything else.

Types of Self -Injury

Self-injury, self-inflicted violence, self-injurious behavior or self-mutilation is defined as a deliberate, intentional injury to one’s own body that causes tissue damage or leaves marks for more than a few minutes which is done to cope with an overwhelming or distressing situation.

The most common self-injurious behaviors are:

Cutting - involves making cuts or scratches on your body with any sharp object, including knives, needles, razor blades or even fingernails. The arms, legs and front of the torso are most commonly cut because they are easily reached and easily hidden under clothing

Branding – burning self with a hot object, Friction burn – rubbing a pencil eraser on your skin

Picking at skin or re-opening wounds (dermatillomania) - is an impulse control disorder characterized by the repeated urge to pick at one's own skin, often to the extent that damage is caused which relieves stress or is gratifying

Hair-pulling (trichotillomania) – is an impulse control disorder which at times seems to resemble a habit, an addiction, or an obsessive-compulsive disorder. The person has an irresistible urge to pull out hair from any part of their body. Hair pulling from the scalp often leaves patchy bald spots on their head which they hide by wearing hats, scarves and wigs. Abnormal levels of serotonin or dopamine may play a role in this disorder. The combined treatment of using an anti-depressant such as Anafranil and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been effective in treating this disorder. CBT teaches you to become more aware of when you’re pulling, helps you identify your pulling habits, and teaches you about what emotions and triggers are involved in hair pulling. When you gain awareness of pulling, you can learn to substitute healthier behaviors instead.

Hitting (with hammer or other object), Bone breaking, Punching, Head-banging (more often seen with autism or severe mental retardation)

Multiple piercing or tattooing - may also be a type of self-injury, especially if pain or stress relief is a factor

Drinking harmful chemicals

Reasons for self-injury

Why do they do it?

Even though it is possible that a self-inflicted injury may result in death, self-injury is usually not suicidal behavior. The person who self-injures may not recognize the connection, but this act usually occurs after an overwhelming or distressing experience and is a result of not having learned how to identify or express difficult feelings in a healthy way. Sometimes the person who deliberately harms themselves thinks that if they feel the pain on the outside instead of feeling it on the inside, the injuries will be seen, which then perhaps gives them a fighting chance to heal. They may also believe that the wounds, which are now physical evidence, proves their emotional pain is real. Although the physical pain they experience may be the catalyst that releases the emotional pain, the relief they feel is temporary. These coping mechanisms in essence are faulty because the pain eventually returns without any permanent healing taking place.

It is difficult to understand the motivations behind self-injurious behavior, but a clearer picture develops when you hear the common explanations self-injurers give for doing it:

“It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I’m unable to put into words. It puts a punctuation mark on what I’m feeling on the inside!”

“It’s a way to have control over my body because I can’t control anything else in my life”

“I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain it’s better than feeling nothing”

I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain”

Self-injury can regulate strong emotions. It can put a person who is at a high level of physiological arousal back to a baseline state.

Deliberate self-harm can distract from emotional pain and stop feelings of numbness.

Self-inflicted violence is a way to express things that cannot be put into words such as displaying anger, shocking others or seeking support and help.

Self-injurious behavior can exert a sense of control over your body if you feel powerless in other areas of your life.  Sometimes magical thinking is involved and you may imagine that hurting yourself will prevent something worse from happening. Also, when you hurt yourself it influences the behavior of others and can manipulate people into feeling guilty, make them care, or make them go away.

Self punishment or self-hate may be involved. Some people who self-injure have a childhood history of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. They may erroneously blame themselves for having been abused, they may feel that they deserved it and are now punishing themselves because of self-hatred and low self-esteem.

Self-abuse can also be a self-soothing behavior for someone who does not have other means to calm intense emotions. Self-injury followed by tending to one’s own wounds is a way to express self-care and be self-nurturing for someone who never learned how to do that in a more direct way.

People who self-injure have some common traits:

Expressions of anger were discouraged while growing up

They have co-existing problems with obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse or eating disorders

They lack the necessary skills to express strong emotions in a healthy way

Often times there is a limited social support network

Cutting and Self-InjuryThe number of young people who participate in acts of self-mutilation is growing.

Although self-harm is rarely a suicidal act, it must be taken seriously because accidental deaths do occur. It’s difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel but breaking the cycle of self-abuse is possible if you reach out to someone you trust. Finding new ways of coping with your feelings can help to tone down the intense urges you feel which results in you hurting yourself. Recovery is a continuous process and learning how to stop this addictive behavior is within your reach if you work at it.

Who Engages in Self--Injury?
The numbers are staggering…about two million people in the U.S. are self-injurers and approximately 1% of the population has inflicted physical injury upon themselves at some time in their life as a way to cope with an overwhelming situation or feeling. Those numbers are most likely an underestimation because the majority of acts of self-injury go unreported. In other parts of the world the numbers are considerably higher. Self-injury does not discriminate against race, culture, or socio-economic strata, but there is conflicting data regarding demographics. Some reference sites indicate that the majority of people who engage in this type of addictive behavior are predominately female teenagers and young adults, while other sites indicate that both genders, ranging in age from 14 to 60 self-injure. However, there is consistent agreement that self-harm has more to do with having poor coping mechanisms than anything else.

Types of Self -InjurySelf-injury, self-inflicted violence, self-injurious behavior or self-mutilation is defined as a deliberate, intentional injury to one’s own body that causes tissue damage or leaves marks for more than a few minutes which is done to cope with an overwhelming or distressing situation.

The most common self-injurious behaviors are:
Cutting - involves making cuts or scratches on your body with any sharp object, including knives, needles, razor blades or even fingernails. The arms, legs and front of the torso are most commonly cut because they are easily reached and easily hidden under clothing

Branding – burning self with a hot object, Friction burn – rubbing a pencil eraser on your skin

Picking at skin or re-opening wounds (dermatillomania) - is an impulse control disorder characterized by the repeated urge to pick at one's own skin, often to the extent that damage is caused which relieves stress or is gratifying

Hair-pulling (trichotillomania) – is an impulse control disorder which at times seems to resemble a habit, an addiction, or an obsessive-compulsive disorder. The person has an irresistible urge to pull out hair from any part of their body. Hair pulling from the scalp often leaves patchy bald spots on their head which they hide by wearing hats, scarves and wigs. Abnormal levels of serotonin or dopamine may play a role in this disorder. The combined treatment of using an anti-depressant such as Anafranil and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been effective in treating this disorder. CBT teaches you to become more aware of when you’re pulling, helps you identify your pulling habits, and teaches you about what emotions and triggers are involved in hair pulling. When you gain awareness of pulling, you can learn to substitute healthier behaviors instead.

Hitting (with hammer or other object), Bone breaking, Punching, Head-banging (more often seen with autism or severe mental retardation)

Multiple piercing or tattooing - may also be a type of self-injury, especially if pain or stress relief is a factor

Drinking harmful chemicals

Reasons for self-injuryWhy do they do it?Even though it is possible that a self-inflicted injury may result in death, self-injury is usually not suicidal behavior. The person who self-injures may not recognize the connection, but this act usually occurs after an overwhelming or distressing experience and is a result of not having learned how to identify or express difficult feelings in a healthy way. Sometimes the person who deliberately harms themselves thinks that if they feel the pain on the outside instead of feeling it on the inside, the injuries will be seen, which then perhaps gives them a fighting chance to heal. They may also believe that the wounds, which are now physical evidence, proves their emotional pain is real. Although the physical pain they experience may be the catalyst that releases the emotional pain, the relief they feel is temporary. These coping mechanisms in essence are faulty because the pain eventually returns without any permanent healing taking place.

It is difficult to understand the motivations behind self-injurious behavior, but a clearer picture develops when you hear the common explanations self-injurers give for doing it:

“It expresses emotional pain or feelings that I’m unable to put into words. It puts a punctuation mark on what I’m feeling on the inside!”“It’s a way to have control over my body because I can’t control anything else in my life”“I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain it’s better than feeling nothing”I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain”Self-injury can regulate strong emotions. It can put a person who is at a high level of physiological arousal back to a baseline state.

Deliberate self-harm can distract from emotional pain and stop feelings of numbness.

Self-inflicted violence is a way to express things that cannot be put into words such as displaying anger, shocking others or seeking support and help.

Self-injurious behavior can exert a sense of control over your body if you feel powerless in other areas of your life.  Sometimes magical thinking is involved and you may imagine that hurting yourself will prevent something worse from happening. Also, when you hurt yourself it influences the behavior of others and can manipulate people into feelingguilty, make them care, or make them go away.

Self punishment or self-hate may be involved. Some people who self-injure have a childhood history of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. They may erroneously blame themselves for having been abused, they may feel that they deserved it and are now punishing themselves because of self-hatred and low self-esteem.

Self-abuse can also be a self-soothing behavior for someone who does not have other means to calm intense emotions. Self-injury followed by tending to one’s own wounds is a way to express self-care and be self-nurturing for someone who never learned how to do that in a more direct way.

People who self-injure have some common traits:Expressions of anger were discouraged while growing upThey have co-existing problems with obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse or eating disordersThey lack the necessary skills to express strong emotions in a healthy way Often times there is a limited social support network

Inspiration From Places and Books

It's now 4:09pm and I'm at Franklin Road Library.  I came her with my partner and we played some games a most the afternoon I've been writing a lot of my current story. I do love playing games, but my genius is writing, because I'm good at it. But God gave me this gift an I'm using it to bring people back to him. God is the most important person in each of our lives, if we don't pray and learn to get closer to him and his begotten son Christ, we will never get eternal life. 


My story - Renewal of Faith is coming on strong.  Yes I have spent two days writing and I'm almost done with my second chapter. I think I have found a new insight to God's gifts he endows us with. If you let that gift go by the sidelines, you'll never understand his wonderous gifts he handed down to us via the Holy Ghost. I pray daily for my gift to lead me to him and to be able to write the sort of stories I want my children to read and enjoy.

I believe I my gifts, which make me a follower of God. If you follow God, and pray ad he'll hand you down a gift, but remember if you let your gift dwindle and not use it. It can be taken away. Pray, study the bible and praise God in all things and everything will be right with you and God. 

C.R.H.P. Meeting

Tonight I had a C.R.H.P. Meeting and it was at Suzie Q's. I have worked on what I wanted to do during the meeting and it went rather well. I felt the spirit leading me to say and think the way's of Christ and God. Being led by the spirit and realizing that we all have a part we fill I this time we have on earth.  My job is to be evangelistic, which means to spread the word of God to those who don't have his loving touch i their lives.  The evening was an abundance of God's love, his unconditional love, along with his guidance and strength.

I believe this picture says it all, God gave his only son to come to earth so that we may have everlasting life. To believe in God is the first thing we need to do. Then we have to pray daily and study his word, the bible.
I suggest you prayer for God to enter into your heart, soul and mind. it is said if you allow God to enter you whole mid, body and soul. He will lead you into the realms of God and you'll one day be with Christ ad God in Heaven. Also know if you ask God and Christ to be your savior, you'll be giving a choice to make. This choice is to follow God and live Christ like and want to spread the word of God. This is by showing others that you have God i your heart. Telling everyone that God saved you from your sins, plus now you have God in your soul, you have to study God's word daily, which is the Holy Bible.

Bible Study

This morning I've been thinking about how much we try to study the bible, but don't manage it all the time. Like yesterday I wanted to give myself twenty minutes to study God's word, but failed. This is something we all need to do, study the bible daily. Even if it's only for a couple of minutes, we must pray and read the bible. This is to let God and Christ into our hearts, to lead us out of the temptations of the flesh on earth.

I intend on studying the bible for at least five minutes a day.To me if I forget to make time for God and his manual, the Holy Bible we will never become the best of what we are here for. Believe, trust and study. Think about it, if I had the choice to go to Heaven or Hell, which one would you choose. For myself personally, I'd always vote for Heaven. The  thing is we do have a choice, it's just do we deserve to go to Heaven.

Are you going to Heaven or Hell?
Think for a minute, what have you done to get the right to be going to heaven. Myself I've had a shady and bad past. This is something I have to repent before I get the right to go to heaven. The Thing is doing good works isn't a pass to get you into heaven. You have top have faith, hope and be studying and taking into your heart the words in the bible. Ask God for forgiveness and let his Holy Ghost/Spirit to enter your body, soul and mind and he will lead you into righteousness and his plan to be with him in heaven.

Saturday Road Trip

I was woken up this morning by Pacer around 6:15am. I got up, feeling rather tired and I know the cats wanted feeding. I was getting so dizzy, I fell, hitting my head on the cupboard. Not being able to feed the cats, I sat on the couch and tried to stop myself from getting dizzy. The dizzy spells are now constant. I hate the feeling the dizzy spells do to me, I want to be healthy and happy.

It's now 6:55pm, I'm watching Bones on TV and finding it very relaxing to watch, even though the episode is a very old one. Anyhow, At the farm and walking around the place, I felt a connection with God and Christ. When the guy was touching my head, I felt a inner glow. It was like God was guiding to be there, to be able to talk with Lourdes near the end. While Suzie Q was getting the car, I had a good talk with Lourdes and I felt her anguish and her pain. I have placed her family on my heart. God knows our pain, our inner turmoil. He is there for us all. I believe I'm here in Indiana for a reason.

Praying for my partner's family and my sisters and their families, this is something that will never stop. I pray daily to God and the Holy Ghost for my sisters and helping me gain strength and guidance to help my sisters and friends at church.